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 I want a hilarious relationship I think I figured out why; I kept getting into serious relationships. Or, as Dane Cook s them, “relation-shits.” (Dane Cook sucks by the way; I hope an old lady in a giant Cadillac runs him over in the Trader Joes â€" actually, fuck it, the Vons parking lot. And you know what, as long as I’m dreaming, I hope she’s really crazy and takes him back to her cabin in Maine to nurse him back to health while she forces him to work on his next HBO special. And, of course, I hope she hobbles him; maybe then he’ll quit running around like a half retarded chimp on coke. But I digress…) Here’s the thing about “serious relationships” â€" they’re so goddamned serious. I realized the problem with these types of relationships when I had to go to the hospital for a broken b xxx The doctor said, “That’s a pretty serious break!” And I was like, “Yeah it is! And it sucks! This is no fun at all!” Now, a couple of years later, I had an epiphany. If it sucks when an injury is serious, why would it be great when a relationship is the same way?! And if that’s so great, why not take it xxx level higher and go looking for a “critical (but stable) relationship?!” Well, I’m not buying that. If a word is good enough to describe an injury then it’s a shitty way to describe a relationship. So I am done with serious relationships and done with women who are looking for something serious. I want a hilarious relationship. I’m not ever sure how that looks. It probably depends on what you find funny. Knowing myself, meet asian girls Holden Massachusetts there’s lots of sex, lots of masturbation, and an occasional pie-fight. Plus, if we’re going to have a hilarious relationship, I’d like to do it together, so while there are probably certain types of people who I find hilarious, I would usually laugh at them rather than with them. For example, I can laugh at really stupid people and all the unintentionally hilarious things they do all day long. The trouble is, when I do, they look at me all indignant-like with their mouths half open and say, “What?!” And then I usually laugh harder. The same thing with really flamboyant gay people. Nothing against them. In fact, I’m really glad God put them on Earth. They’re hilarious. The trouble is, they tend to get mad about being hilarious. I guess my point is, if you’re bordering on retarded or a flamboyant gay guy â€" take no offense; I think you’re hilarious and wouldn’t want to live in a world without you, I just don’t want to date you. So lets get back to dateable hilarious… If you can crack a joke about any of the aforementioned groups… congratulations â€" you make the first cut. If you really like to have sex a lot â€" perfect! (And if you don’t think sex is hilarious, go watch some porn in high speed; or better yet, go to xxx and turn off safe search then enter “midgets fucking.” Tell me that shit isn’t funny.) Work is really funny, mostly because there are a lot of stupid people walking around. If you laugh a lot at the office, where to fuck women in Cary you’d probably work well in a hilarious relationship. If you don’t, you could be xxx of those people who spends a lot of time with their mouth ½ open saying, “What?!” If that’s you, bless your heart. And don’t reply to this ad. So that’s what I’m looking for. Also, it would be great if you were a Victoria Secret model. Not because I’m superficial like that, just because I assume you get a lot of free underwear and wouldn’t mind lending me some.